Friday, October 26, 2007

Miscarriage of Justice

Another awards ceremony,
Tuxedos and trite laughter.
The compere told us that the News
Would follow shortly after.

“Personality of the Year.”
[I think that was the title]
“And here to read the nominees…”
My God! It’s Harvey Keitel!

Harvey strolled up to the mike
And told a funny story.
The camera panned in on the smiles
Of Fat Spice and Hugh Laurie.

“The nominees,” said Harvey, as
The laughter faded slowly,
“Are an actress from Eastenders and
A brilliant Irish goalie.”

Cue a little bit of film,
The music from Eastenders,
Dot Cotton in her headscarf
Fighting off some moneylenders.

Cue a bit of football film,
The Irish national anthem,
Chris Eubank saying Shay Given is
“Formidable and handthome.”

Harvey tore the envelope and
Pulled the card out quickly,
But suddenly his pallor went
All vomit-green and sickly.

“Dot Cotton,” he announced at last,
And everyone grew restless,
Except for Dot who blithely bounced
Around, so lithe and chestless.

The audience smiled nervously,
Assuming he was jesting,
But very quickly it became
More serious protesting.

Andrea Corr began the chant
[She thought the judging rotten.]
She jumped upon a table, crying
“For Given, not for Cotton!”

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