Big Jack’s Resignation Speech / Match abandoned

Big Jack's Resignation Speech

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We’ve passed a lot of water since my service was first courted,
And you’ve become familiar with the old cloth cap I’ve sported.
Your football team was in a mess – I worked and got it sorted,
And now our style of football round the world has been exported.
In our three major finals, we’ve been wonderfully supported,
Except by one small journalist, whose views are quite distorted
[No wonder he’s so wrinkled with his face always contorted]
But by and large the media with fairness have reported,
And haven’t run with any allegations they’ve purported.
Unfortunately, the bloody Dutch once more our hopes have thwarted,
And travel plans to England will now have to be aborted.
And so, for several reasons which are lengthy and assorted,
To my resignation letter I have finally consorted.

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Match abandoned

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The ashen-faced young boy,
Holding tight his father’s hand,
Watches hooligans destroy
All the seating in the stand.

As the debris is slung down
With triumphal shouts of hate,
He just stares with puzzled frown
At the tumbling plastic spate.

Every seat that’s rudely hurled
With repulsive racist cries
Makes his innocent young world
Fall away before his eyes.

Camera cut to Graham Kelly
Shouting “Is my hair okay?”
As he moves to go on telly
To deflect the blame away.