Five Whole Days Before the Match

There are journalists, I’m told, who like a drink.
(At least, that’s what a lot of people think.)
No more or less than any great profession,
I’m sure they like to go and have a session.

I’d question any journalist with sense –
If they’d a deadline coming five days hence,
When asked out for a drink, would they say, “No!
How could I with a mere five days to go?”

And yet, as we prepared to meet the French,
A section of the press kicked up a stench,
When several players were spotted on the town,
Five whole days before the match went down.

With moralistic anger, they enquired
Was such behaviour what the team required?
How could we hope to beat Zidane and Co.
By drinking with a mere five days to go?

A lot of people found it quite amusing
That much was made of premature boozing.
For even in the most besotted haze,
Hangovers rarely last for five whole days.

Such ludicrous attacks are often hurled
By headline seekers in the tabloid world.
But, over here in Ireland, well, somehow
We’ve managed to avoid it. Until now.

Oh Lord, is this the shape of things to come,
That journalists in Ireland must succumb
To pressure to increase their paper’s sales,
By fabricating inauspicious tales?

.

Ireland 0 France 1